More Than Momma

Did you have a parent that you did not always want to be around? Was there one that you just couldn't figure out? Was that parent actually the inferior parent, or were you just needing something from them? As I shared in blog #1  - Let's face it- parenting is one heck of a job.  No instructions. Often little to no support. We are just doing what we think is best.  And sometimes that might make us the favorite parent or the not so favorite one.  I have been both so I reflect on the following with respect and no blame at all. The Not-So Favorite Parent Growing up, my mom was the not-so favorite parent.  This could be attributed to many things.  Mother - daughter relationships always came to mind first but for us it was much more.  My mom had to be the "hold down the fort" parent by the very nature of the circumstances of the times and our lives. For most of my life, my mom was a stay at home mom.  When she did work, it was around my schedule so that...

Did you have a favorite of your parents? Was there one that you wanted to be around more than the other? Was that parent actually better, or were you just needing something from them? Let's face it- parenting is one heck of a job.  No instructions. Often little to no support. We are just doing what we think is best.  And sometimes that might make us the favorite parent or the not so favorite one.  I have been both so I reflect on the following with respect and no blame at all. The Favorite Parent Growing up, my dad was the favorite parent.  This could be attributed to many things.  Daddy - daughter relationships always came to mind first but for us it was much more.  My dad got to be the fun parent by the very nature of the circumstances of the times and our lives. My father worked.  I mean he was seriously a workaholic. This was how he was raised to be and what was expected if he was to support his family and provide more than he had as a child. ...

 There are times in your life that are just really hard and don't make sense.  Times when the hurt you feel infuriates your brain.  Times when your brain is completely perplexed at why your heart hurts because you should know better.  You have experienced this before.  Some things just don't change. At least, for me, there are those times. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with the trying to grasp the illusion of specific connections that I want that are in direct opposition to what I have. And it is not all relationships.  Only one or two that no matter how hard I try- they are toxic. My brain knows that this will never change, but the heart still wants it to be so. The hubs, the friends, the therapists- they all tell me that certain people are just going to be how they are.  They most likely will not change.  Their actions and words should not be a shock, a surprise, and definitely not something that I should allow the power to ups...

Throughout my life there have been adults that I have considered "adoptive parents" without ever having been adopted. Heck, I even adopted a sister as an only child.  We are family by choice. I think that stems from all of those who unknowingly adopted me over the years. I grew up in a home with my biological mom and dad, but during a time when other adults oftentimes had profound impacts on my day to day. You knew your friend's parents. You knew all of the adult neighbors.  You even knew many of the adults in town. Specifically, I remember.... There were the parents of the two sisters up the street who befriended me in elementary school.  While I never outright called them mom or dad, I learned so much from them and being a family. I attended church with them, a required outcome of wanting to spend Saturday nights over.  I envied how involved in their home their dad was being home daily by a reasonable hour as mine worked long hard hours were we only had Sundays, so...